North Star Advice

“Hi, Aamna! I wanted to ask your advice on some feelings I’ve been having. Recently, I started having feelings for one of my close friends. I really like everything about them! I have been friends with them for a while now, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship we have now by telling them how I feel. 

I’m worried that things may become awkward between us if I say something, and I’m scared to lose the friendship we have, but at the same time, I feel like I need to just tell them how I feel. What should I do?”

-Lego Fortnite  

I hope you’re having an amazing day, Lego! First of all, I totally get where you’re coming from; your feelings are valid. The fear of losing a friendship that you value over a confession is common and very justified. But remember, feelings can’t and won’t just disappear because you ignore them. In some situations, ignoring your feelings can even make your inner turmoil worse, and the stress can start to spread to other parts of your life. That doesn’t mean you have to rush into a dramatic confession, but to reduce your stress, you should address them.

Consider testing the waters first—see how they respond to compliments and deeper, more personal conversations. Sometimes, you’ll get a sense of whether the feeling is mutual without having to spell it out. If you’re still unsure, think about how your current dynamic works. Are you both good at handling emotional honesty? If you are, that’s a sign you shouldn’t fear an open conversation about your emotions, and a confession won’t hurt your bond. If you choose to tell them, keep it simple and low-pressure. Something like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I really value our friendship. I’ve started to like you as more than a friend, but I don’t want this to change anything between us if you don’t feel the same” can communicate your feelings while also letting them know that there’s no pressure to change your current dynamic.

And if they don’t feel the same? It might be awkward for a bit, but true friendships bounce back. Just give it time. If they do feel the same—well, then you’ve opened the door to something even better! 

You’ve got this, Lego. No matter what happens, being honest with yourself is always the right move. 

Wishing you luck, 

Aamna